trying to live this way ;)

>"I do not choose to be a common (wo)man. It is my right to be uncommon... if I can. I seek opportunity... not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me. I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and succeed. I refuse to barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopia. I will not trade freedom for beneficience nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any master nor bend to any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself; enjoy the benefits of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, this I have done."

welcome to the theatre.

so here i go... bloggity blog, blog. blog.

yes, can you believe it?! i'm finally blogging! you know, after thinking and thinking of the "perfect" way of conveying my thoughts, of expressing myself... i decided to stop thinking... and, lucky for you, i started writing.

so... it's the morning after i got back from Dublin with Kyle. Dublin. oooo... it was great! a great trip. we arrived last Thursday night. we got in late, but went out anyway to track down a delicious midnight snack anyway... aka, a Guinness. :)

and yep, the rumor was right! the Guinness just tastes better in Ireland. and honestly, i'm not exactly sure what it is... it's the same rich, full tasting glass of yummy goodness as it is in the states, but there's no... aftertaste? maybe? i think that's what it is. there isn't that tiny metal zing left on your tongue after you take a drink... :) mmm, it's the good stuff.

so friday rolls around and we head out into the wickedly windy city to track down the place that made our snack... the Guinness Storehouse. we went in the fabulously remodeled rendition of the real distillery now moved to the city of Cork (we didn't know this, grrr.... :( we wanted to see the real thing). but, it was a nice place... very much a tourist attraction. honestly, the only real highlight of the tour was the "testing lab." ;) (yah, i know... who woulda thought?!!) once you get to the top floor of the "distillery" is a bar (the Gravity bar) solely for those who completed the tour... to enjoy a glass of Guinness Draught (draft?!) and view the Dublin skyline.

as much as i did enjoy the experience, the "tour" wasn't really a tour, it was us wandering around the building. and after finally making it through... the view of Dublin wasn't all that grand... as the city is pretty figgin' industrial (i guess this isn't really Guinness' fault though, hm? haha..). so there weren't really any glamourous buildings to oogle at... just a few billowing smoke stacks piercing into the dreary skyline.

anyways... by saturday night we had covered the grounds of St. Patrick's catherdral, the Dublin castle, Trinity College, the Temple Bar district [with great depth and precision ;) pub crawl style], and the Jameson Distrillery. mmm, whiskey... perhaps my favorite part of the trip (so far). it was a better tour, a cheaper tour, and a move involved tour... and we got really delicious Irish coffees before leaving, so i was happy, happy. woot!

after enjoying two beautiful days in Dublin, with "abnormally good weather" as the cab driver told us... sunday we were able to experience the real country.

hmm.... :|

windy and rainy, cold and gusty... yick. but we snatched up our umbrellas (or brollies as the English like to call them) and jackets (i really need to consider buying a wet weatherproof coat) and headed out to find Paddy's Palace... the place of our departure for our day trip into the Irish countryside.

the weather was rough, and i'm not much used to the cold weather thang, but the trip was fun nonetheless...

we traveled by bus with a pretty eccentric, very Irish tour guide through beautiful Kildare to historic Kilkenny... along the way we stopped to visit the monastic city of St. Kevin at Glendalough. probably my favorie part of the trip (yup, even betta' then the whiskey fun). The city held such spirituality, such significance... the rain almost seemed fitting.

(and also Kyle fell on his ass, sliding right down a mudding hill... so it was amusing too!)

after we roamed around a bit, we climbed back on the bus and headed through the rolling hills, rugged mountains and glacial valleys of the county of Wicklow... aka, the Garden of Ireland. traveling on and into Kilkenny, we hopped out to experience the once medieval capital of Ireland. Kilkenny boasts of Ireland's finest Norman castle... (oo la la!). we walked around, took loads of photos, enjoyed a Kilkenny brew, then headed back to the bus for a ride back into Dublin.

overall, a great vacation away from Leicester. so now... back to reality. well... at least i think it's reality...

i just bought my ticket home. yep, back to the states i go, i go! :) but i can't decide whether i'm happy about it, or sad.

i'm leaving this amazing experience behind, but i'm sure just to move on to the next. it's just the process of it all.... a lot of changes are about to happen in my life. i have no idea what to expect.

i have exactly one month until i leave.

confuzzling situations lead to confuzzling blogs.... (warning, words of rambled nature!)

sometimes i feel like a character in a Greek play. i put on a mask and an act to please the audience.

with few words even spoken, i'm just going through the motions.

as if i ask myself each morning, hmmm... which emotion shall i wear today?

but then again... i'm not sure that is just it either. actually, i changed my mind... i know it's not.

i mean, is it my apprehension, my ambiguity, or rather, others' thoughts and opinions that influence it? often i catch myself only questioning my decisions after others have a say in the matter.

why should i change my mind? have i become that much of a conformist?!

i mean, i know i'm a people pleaser, but this is ridiculous.

besides.... is what the audience says it wants, what it actually wants? trust is earned, right? so what happens when you don't know if you can trust your audience?

should you risk the risk?

maybe it's just easier to run the other direction and shut that part of your life.... off.

a few strange things about the UK..?!

1. why are there so many lone, half eaten chicken bones lying around this city?!
2. cookies are called digestives. i like that... and it gives Cookie Monster a whole new healthy-healthy appeal. screw you doctor Atkins!
3. everyone loves the Yankees here... and why?! i bet you £50 (yup, i said pounds) they have no idea what getting to third base really means. (see No.4)
4. sex is very, very okay here... it's like riding a bike. it's just something you do. most drug stores have multiple isles of condoms... no joke. have the vibrating ones reached the states yet?! (giggle.)
5. what's up with not using the letter Z? i can't seem to figure out why people do not like it here... i mean, what'd it do to England? Zap.


;) more to come... don't worry, woot! keep holding on to your bums!

something like a blog.

it's been a while since my last post... a long long while. and since then... i've moved to England, retired my flip flops, bought a pair of fuzzy boots, learned to sew, grown to enjoy baked beans and mushy peas, and finally have been able to conquer the biggest mystery of them all... what my natural hair colour is! whew, what a life. ;) next up: a more serious than cereal blog, woot! hold on to your bums.

Mama Mia!

Dig your own badge
Visit my family

almond joyce.

sometimes i feel like a nut, sometimes i don't. :)

as the world just tangos by..

'I was listening for answers
That I could not really hear
When the words of a wise old Indian
Put a conch shell to my ear

And I took off for the ocean
I was searching for the coast
Painting pictures of my vision
With the words from grandma's ghost

Hiding from the dragons
Riding for the sea
Singing ballads from my childhood
“A pirate’s life for me”

Survivors seem to function best
When peril is at hand
With a song of the ocean
Meets a salty piece of land

I was force-fed my religion
But I somehow saved my smile
Tapped into my instincts
As I headed to’ards exile

Cleopatra did not own a barge
But a schooner was her home
She has centuries of stories
And there’s wisdom in her bones

She was on a sacred mission
And she told me of a place
Where a man can hide forever
But never loose his face

So I saddled up my seahorse
With a fly-rod in my hand
I was not looking for salvation
Just a salty piece of land

Somedays Cayo Loco SHIMMERS
Like the stars up in the sky
And the seabirds they do touch and go's
As the world just tangos by

But there are times when she is hidden
Beneath the wild and crashing waves
And the patron saint of lightening
Keeps the sailors from their graves

Some say it is a blinding sword
Pointing out into the sea
While others say her guiding light
Leads to’ards eternity

Still I sit in contemplation
And I just don’t understand
This mysterious attraction
Of this salty piece of land

Still I search the constellations
And the tiny grains of sand
Where the song of the ocean
Meets the salty piece of land.'


- - -



i wrote a bulletin tonight... half silly and half serious, mentioning my slight skerrrdness of moving to another country.



maybe one of my greastest, longest friends wrote me back.... and she reminded me of a quote by Jimmy Buffett. :)



"A Salty Piece of Land."


there is a character in the story who leaves her husband to find her destiny in the tropics after viewing a painting that "showed her a window into the world where she felt she belonged."

she wrote a letter... explaining the decisions of her life.


and these words, will always give me comfort when i'm faced with the consequences of my wacky lifestyle.



"...I have no regrets. What I did learn in my leaving was that there are far more roads on which you may traverse life's paths than those that seem to have been preordained for you by others. Of course there are times when I wonder what could have been? but I chose my path, and that is that...

There will always be those who feel more comfortable not venturing from the warmth of the hearth, but there are those that prefer to look out the window and wonder what is beyond the horizon. There is no beauty like that which overtakes us by accident."

[gr]howling at the moon.

omgomgomg, so many lil things got under my skin today. raaarrrrrgh!

[haha... as most of you know i don't get easily pissed off, but... when lil things tamper with my temper......... grrrrrrrrrrr!]

so for one.... i cleaned my shower today. [yay, woot, congratulations.] but using a new product... scrubbing bubblings. i assumed.... it'd be a nice change. from what the commercials say, they do the work for you.

[you know... the lil scrubbby brushes chasin' eachother around the tub.]

anyways.... they do not tell you to scrub afterwards.

[which i had to. or is that the clean freak in my popping out and saying.... hellloooooo...? hahaha..]

and with such an unrefreshing scent!

boo! i hiss at you scrub bubble.

and then.... we move on to another irriation.


mr. bubble.


[yes, the man himself. ;)]

after the wonderfully clean tub, i thought i'd close my splendidly productive day with a candlelit bubble bath.. with myself and my........................




iPod.


[yah yah, i know... lame, but my boyfriend's in England. what can i say?!]

anyways, the bubbles lasted only 10 mins and i had to repeatedly turn on the facet to "refresh" the present bubbles.


[grr! again, yes.]


all while refreshing my bubbles... i miss Kyle's call.



SO

i try to send a skype text.

[i say F U dial up lords!]


the skype credit is not credited....
[......maybe tomorrow it will be?! doubtfully....]

although, i dunno...?!






but the point was to have skype credit tonight.


what a bitch@$$ day.


[a grrrrr, yet again, mm hmmmmm!]


okay i must go to my glass of pinot noir.... it yearns for me.

[hahaha... at least something does!]



tomorrow... an update will be in order. please do attend the grand posting. ;)

sleepy?!

For years I've been blaming it on a lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much job pressure, hmmm... maybe an iron deficiency?

But now I've discovered the real cause...

I'm over worked.


Here's what has happened:

The population of this country is at 273 million.

140 million of those are retired.

Leaving 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces, leaving 16.2 million to do the work.

Now subtract the 14,800,000 people who work for the state and the city government, and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Believe it, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you sit, staring at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice...... real nice.

a wasted life.

i went to Sanibel last weekend with my best friend, Kelly.



i enjoyed the relaxation of the west coast beaches.
the soft sand, warm sun.... blah blah blah,

it was great!


we had gone out to visit her family, and i absolutely love having a house full of family and friends... so i was happy to attend.



haha, yessss okay... it is a 'lil chaotic!



but it's like nothing else in the world. sooo, whateva. ;)






anyways,


on Sunday, we drove home.
i was exhausted after a long weekend sun bathing and beach biking....



......."back to work."

yik.





i never would have expected to open the door to my house and find my grandmother, with this look in her eyes.



[it's always very apparant when she has something weighing heavily on her mind.]

usually she's just this wonderfully wise, amazing woman, carrying this strong stature.... and child-like grin.


[yes, it's just the normalcy. it's comforting and i like that.]






come to find out,


my cousin's wife had killed herself.






yes.
exactly.



what?
what is what??

what happened?


how do i, wait...
how should i reacte to that?!?!!!


shock?
wonder?
sadness?


everything fluttered over me as i've met this girl.

she was only 21 and so sweet.... so refreshing.


so innocent and so young.




why?!?!?!!!




just a few nights ago now... around midnight,
she took her life from this world.







and all i can think was how selfish she was........



she has a son!
a 4 year old son.


and who does NOT understand!









you know, i always imagined a life so simple...

...an education, a career, a happy marriage.




and hopefully a life a 'lil extra ordinary.....






why would someone do this?!

grey's anatomy.

and the Fray, what a stella' video! mi loves. :)

i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore.

sometimes i wonder what my next step is. i mean.... people joke with me all the time.

"joyce is leaving us for, wait.......... where are going again?!"


and yes, :) i enjoy this, laugh at it and relish in it.... in this carefree life i'm creating.

"it's not about what happened in the past or what you think might happen in the future. it's about the ride for Christs' sake! there's no point going through all this crap if your not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what, when you least expect it something great might come along. something better than you even planned for." -Along Came Polly

=/

all day i'm been in this funk. i'm all confuzzled and thinking way too much. i'm so lost in my own thoughts.... trying to make organization out of my misadventurous life is beginning to get to me. or maybe today.... it got to me.

it's a hard rock life for me!

tonight i met a bobcat, a tiger, and a bearded dragon.... all while drinking many cocktails. haaa... good times.

for the love of friendship for goodness sake!

sometimes you don't realize who your real friends are until you........

just do.




because these people have one quality that sets them apart from everyone else...

geniune sincerity.



it's not something you can tell right off the bat.
or maybe sometimes you can?!

hmm, either way... it's sad to admit that this attribute so hard to come across.



i mean, ask yourself who it is in your life that will walk beside you through life, carry you if you fall...

be there with you, at a moments notice, in any predicament....

"if i hesitate, if i falter, if i need a friend?"




these are the people who want to hear the answer to their silly "how ya' doin'?'s."
these are the people that give you advice on even your most random rants.
these are the people i want around me.



everyday i realize more and more how my life is affected by other people.

and i'm more cautious of who i let in because of this.




i am my own person, but you... you could quite possibly have an impact on who i become.


["all ya need is love... laa dee daa da daa."]

:)

get a living, but don't forget to live.

i often wonder why we're brought up with this premeditated plan for our lives...

....as if conforming to the ideals of the 'american way,' what is "sopposed" to be, is already the determined structure that our lives should take. because that will make you happy.

[hmm...]


have your 2.5 children, walk your golden retriever, make your monthly mortage payment...



blah. blah. blah.

all while sinking slowly [or quickly?] into debt.



and not just from that stack of bills...


...but the debt of a wasted life.

and that's the way things are sopposed to be?!




yick.

now don't get me wrong... i'm not a cynic of any sort. actually, quite the opposite.


i'm a silly, hopeless romantic who dreams of that "sandals on the beach wedding" someday.... but come on...


i'm curious to know why so many americans enjoy a life made of routine and reprise. day in and day out, living paycheck to paycheck, working 70 hours a week...

doesn't it seem ultimately dull?!


and in my theory, the 'cause of the multitude of pressing issues facing our society today?

[depression, obesity, addiction, divorce...]


maybe we need a 'lil life in our lives rather than another damn pill.

i flip 'til i flop.

boots, jackets, hats, oh my! living in Florida has taken a toll on my wardrobe, all i have are flip flops and tank tops! i guess i need to a bit of bloody shopping, eh?! ;) i'll let you know the outcome of the day... i'm off for a day of outlet fun. woot woot!

dr. joyce

why do most of my friends just want to be my friend when they break up with their boyfriend?! grr. that's not a friendship, that's a therapist! i think i need to start charging... ;)

from Forbes with love.

"Don't forget until it's too late, that the business of life is not business... it's living." - B. C. Forbes

odd. :)

i woke up this morning backwards in my bed. how did that happen!?!

worth a click everyday!

you 'lil jokester!

tough cookies.

grr!

good advice.

"do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

i have a problem.

i've had a headache all day and i hardly ever get them! so i stop for a moment to ponder what may be the source of this annoying thumping in my head.

i didn't go out last night, i didn't even have coffee this morning. hmmmm....


meanwhile i begin to crave a delicious Starbucks sugar free soy vanilla latte, [mmmm...]

then it hits me!


yam! zowwy! crash!


[haha... don't worry, that was just for dramatic effect.]




joyce has an addiction to caffeine!!!
















and i like my addiciton. is that bad?! ;)

if only i knew this sooner ;)

a best friend.

a best friend is a gift to cherish forever. it's a special bond that crosses the boundaries of time and distance. time passes but a best friend is constant in a world of change. like a fine wine or vintage car, their friendship gets better with age. life may have it's ups and downs but their shared dreams continue. i don't know where i'd be without my best friend. :)

words to live by.

Do what makes you happy.
Be with who makes you smile.
Laugh as much as you breathe.
Love as long as you live.

friends: footprints on our hearts.

quote of the day.

"laugh longer, live louder."

warrior.

The Warrior's Reminder
by: erykah badu

i am awake,
my mind is free,
i am creative,
i love myself,
my willpower is strong,
i am brave,
i practice patience,
i don't judge folks,
i give,
not to receive,
i don't expect,
i accept,
i listen more than i talk,
i know i'll change,
i know you'll change,
i'll hold on one more day,
i start over when necessary,
i create my own situations,
i am cosmic,
i do not have the answers,
i desire to learn,
i am the plan,
i am strong,
i am weak,
i want to grow,
i know i will,
i take on responsiblity,
i hide myself from no one,
i'm on my path,

warriors walk alone,
i won't let my focus change,
taking out the demons in my range...

Grr.

...i'm trying to be this warrior, and don't worry, i will succeed. :)

love. life. laughter.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

scars.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel..

rise n' shine!

I had a ditty bop morning.



[Haha!]

You know what I mean...

...it was one of those mornings when you have EVERYthing on your mind.




And it’s never just one subject it’s something like 5... maybe twelve.

Hm.



So I’m driving along and realizing I was having some fun...

...dodging rubber retread from the big rigs [or maybe Kyle's car is just shedding?].



[woot! woot!]

Kinda makes you feel like a stunt driver at times.

...No? :/



Then there’s the passing Mexican workers.

[oh boy.]

You know those trucks.

They just sit there, dirty [yes, already at 6:30am] and staring at you like you have a taco stuck to your face.


Stop looking at mi senor.




[lo siento.]


And then...

!!!




There’s a Mexican man standing up in the back of another truck!

How is that legal?!!!


If you drive in the HOV lane for .25 of a mile you’ll get pulled over by 3 cops, but no one cares about the Mexican who enjoys the wind in his hair more than my Mia...

...I don't want no man in my windshield today!





okay, so while I’m looking around... the traffic is getting worse.

People start dashing from lane to lane.

[Argh.]



o road rage...

...but then, an epiphany!!!

Driving in south Florida and dating in south Florida are quite the comparable comparison.


Make a flippin’ commitment for once in your lives people!

[haha!]


GRR!


more randomness to come... sit tight. ;)





please note:

[no Mexicans were harmed in the making of this blog.]

changes

"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better." -King Whitney Jr.

Hmm.



Today I will make it a point to drive forth my confidence.

;)

Haha…


Yah yah, something like that.



But seriously… it isn't good or bad. It's just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.


I need to finally realize that.

Nothing should become comfortable.




Until it’s… right.


[and often things you think are right, often... aren’t. :( ]




It’s funny how things pan out.


From one day to the next, so many things can take place...

…that effect SO much.




And as often as I hear I shouldn’t live in the past, it’s hard not to reminisce from time to time.




Then again, I wonder…

….what’s the point of reminscing again??!


[Remind me, ‘cause I forget.]



Absurdly trying to live your happy times all over again?

Or, obsessing over things you could have done differently?



Silly, isn’t it?

And even though I realize this... I still catch myself doing it.



Lately in fact.

Argh! Why?!




Perhaps due to the changes I’m now facing?



I mean, admitting the problem is really the first step to any resolution, isn’t it?

And I admit…

...I fear change.



I love comfort.
I love relationships.


And…

I cherish them and how they affect my life.




But life, often, doesn’t always work out like that. :(


And you realize…



“The more things change, the more they remain... insane.” - Michael Fry and T. Lewis



hahaha…

…fitting isn’t it?


a crazy girl and her crazy life.





I do tend to dance impromptu, laugh out loud, and sing loudly when I shouldn’t…

O crap, I think... I need Prozac.

;)



"Life is a journey, and not a destination."

welcome to my life...

...it's really quite silly. consider this your insight to the adventures of mia and me! haha... xo