as the world just tangos by..

'I was listening for answers
That I could not really hear
When the words of a wise old Indian
Put a conch shell to my ear

And I took off for the ocean
I was searching for the coast
Painting pictures of my vision
With the words from grandma's ghost

Hiding from the dragons
Riding for the sea
Singing ballads from my childhood
“A pirate’s life for me”

Survivors seem to function best
When peril is at hand
With a song of the ocean
Meets a salty piece of land

I was force-fed my religion
But I somehow saved my smile
Tapped into my instincts
As I headed to’ards exile

Cleopatra did not own a barge
But a schooner was her home
She has centuries of stories
And there’s wisdom in her bones

She was on a sacred mission
And she told me of a place
Where a man can hide forever
But never loose his face

So I saddled up my seahorse
With a fly-rod in my hand
I was not looking for salvation
Just a salty piece of land

Somedays Cayo Loco SHIMMERS
Like the stars up in the sky
And the seabirds they do touch and go's
As the world just tangos by

But there are times when she is hidden
Beneath the wild and crashing waves
And the patron saint of lightening
Keeps the sailors from their graves

Some say it is a blinding sword
Pointing out into the sea
While others say her guiding light
Leads to’ards eternity

Still I sit in contemplation
And I just don’t understand
This mysterious attraction
Of this salty piece of land

Still I search the constellations
And the tiny grains of sand
Where the song of the ocean
Meets the salty piece of land.'


- - -



i wrote a bulletin tonight... half silly and half serious, mentioning my slight skerrrdness of moving to another country.



maybe one of my greastest, longest friends wrote me back.... and she reminded me of a quote by Jimmy Buffett. :)



"A Salty Piece of Land."


there is a character in the story who leaves her husband to find her destiny in the tropics after viewing a painting that "showed her a window into the world where she felt she belonged."

she wrote a letter... explaining the decisions of her life.


and these words, will always give me comfort when i'm faced with the consequences of my wacky lifestyle.



"...I have no regrets. What I did learn in my leaving was that there are far more roads on which you may traverse life's paths than those that seem to have been preordained for you by others. Of course there are times when I wonder what could have been? but I chose my path, and that is that...

There will always be those who feel more comfortable not venturing from the warmth of the hearth, but there are those that prefer to look out the window and wonder what is beyond the horizon. There is no beauty like that which overtakes us by accident."

[gr]howling at the moon.

omgomgomg, so many lil things got under my skin today. raaarrrrrgh!

[haha... as most of you know i don't get easily pissed off, but... when lil things tamper with my temper......... grrrrrrrrrrr!]

so for one.... i cleaned my shower today. [yay, woot, congratulations.] but using a new product... scrubbing bubblings. i assumed.... it'd be a nice change. from what the commercials say, they do the work for you.

[you know... the lil scrubbby brushes chasin' eachother around the tub.]

anyways.... they do not tell you to scrub afterwards.

[which i had to. or is that the clean freak in my popping out and saying.... hellloooooo...? hahaha..]

and with such an unrefreshing scent!

boo! i hiss at you scrub bubble.

and then.... we move on to another irriation.


mr. bubble.


[yes, the man himself. ;)]

after the wonderfully clean tub, i thought i'd close my splendidly productive day with a candlelit bubble bath.. with myself and my........................




iPod.


[yah yah, i know... lame, but my boyfriend's in England. what can i say?!]

anyways, the bubbles lasted only 10 mins and i had to repeatedly turn on the facet to "refresh" the present bubbles.


[grr! again, yes.]


all while refreshing my bubbles... i miss Kyle's call.



SO

i try to send a skype text.

[i say F U dial up lords!]


the skype credit is not credited....
[......maybe tomorrow it will be?! doubtfully....]

although, i dunno...?!






but the point was to have skype credit tonight.


what a bitch@$$ day.


[a grrrrr, yet again, mm hmmmmm!]


okay i must go to my glass of pinot noir.... it yearns for me.

[hahaha... at least something does!]



tomorrow... an update will be in order. please do attend the grand posting. ;)

sleepy?!

For years I've been blaming it on a lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much job pressure, hmmm... maybe an iron deficiency?

But now I've discovered the real cause...

I'm over worked.


Here's what has happened:

The population of this country is at 273 million.

140 million of those are retired.

Leaving 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces, leaving 16.2 million to do the work.

Now subtract the 14,800,000 people who work for the state and the city government, and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Believe it, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you sit, staring at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice...... real nice.

a wasted life.

i went to Sanibel last weekend with my best friend, Kelly.



i enjoyed the relaxation of the west coast beaches.
the soft sand, warm sun.... blah blah blah,

it was great!


we had gone out to visit her family, and i absolutely love having a house full of family and friends... so i was happy to attend.



haha, yessss okay... it is a 'lil chaotic!



but it's like nothing else in the world. sooo, whateva. ;)






anyways,


on Sunday, we drove home.
i was exhausted after a long weekend sun bathing and beach biking....



......."back to work."

yik.





i never would have expected to open the door to my house and find my grandmother, with this look in her eyes.



[it's always very apparant when she has something weighing heavily on her mind.]

usually she's just this wonderfully wise, amazing woman, carrying this strong stature.... and child-like grin.


[yes, it's just the normalcy. it's comforting and i like that.]






come to find out,


my cousin's wife had killed herself.






yes.
exactly.



what?
what is what??

what happened?


how do i, wait...
how should i reacte to that?!?!!!


shock?
wonder?
sadness?


everything fluttered over me as i've met this girl.

she was only 21 and so sweet.... so refreshing.


so innocent and so young.




why?!?!?!!!




just a few nights ago now... around midnight,
she took her life from this world.







and all i can think was how selfish she was........



she has a son!
a 4 year old son.


and who does NOT understand!









you know, i always imagined a life so simple...

...an education, a career, a happy marriage.




and hopefully a life a 'lil extra ordinary.....






why would someone do this?!

grey's anatomy.

and the Fray, what a stella' video! mi loves. :)

i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore.

sometimes i wonder what my next step is. i mean.... people joke with me all the time.

"joyce is leaving us for, wait.......... where are going again?!"


and yes, :) i enjoy this, laugh at it and relish in it.... in this carefree life i'm creating.

"it's not about what happened in the past or what you think might happen in the future. it's about the ride for Christs' sake! there's no point going through all this crap if your not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what, when you least expect it something great might come along. something better than you even planned for." -Along Came Polly

=/

all day i'm been in this funk. i'm all confuzzled and thinking way too much. i'm so lost in my own thoughts.... trying to make organization out of my misadventurous life is beginning to get to me. or maybe today.... it got to me.

it's a hard rock life for me!

tonight i met a bobcat, a tiger, and a bearded dragon.... all while drinking many cocktails. haaa... good times.

for the love of friendship for goodness sake!

sometimes you don't realize who your real friends are until you........

just do.




because these people have one quality that sets them apart from everyone else...

geniune sincerity.



it's not something you can tell right off the bat.
or maybe sometimes you can?!

hmm, either way... it's sad to admit that this attribute so hard to come across.



i mean, ask yourself who it is in your life that will walk beside you through life, carry you if you fall...

be there with you, at a moments notice, in any predicament....

"if i hesitate, if i falter, if i need a friend?"




these are the people who want to hear the answer to their silly "how ya' doin'?'s."
these are the people that give you advice on even your most random rants.
these are the people i want around me.



everyday i realize more and more how my life is affected by other people.

and i'm more cautious of who i let in because of this.




i am my own person, but you... you could quite possibly have an impact on who i become.


["all ya need is love... laa dee daa da daa."]

:)

get a living, but don't forget to live.

i often wonder why we're brought up with this premeditated plan for our lives...

....as if conforming to the ideals of the 'american way,' what is "sopposed" to be, is already the determined structure that our lives should take. because that will make you happy.

[hmm...]


have your 2.5 children, walk your golden retriever, make your monthly mortage payment...



blah. blah. blah.

all while sinking slowly [or quickly?] into debt.



and not just from that stack of bills...


...but the debt of a wasted life.

and that's the way things are sopposed to be?!




yick.

now don't get me wrong... i'm not a cynic of any sort. actually, quite the opposite.


i'm a silly, hopeless romantic who dreams of that "sandals on the beach wedding" someday.... but come on...


i'm curious to know why so many americans enjoy a life made of routine and reprise. day in and day out, living paycheck to paycheck, working 70 hours a week...

doesn't it seem ultimately dull?!


and in my theory, the 'cause of the multitude of pressing issues facing our society today?

[depression, obesity, addiction, divorce...]


maybe we need a 'lil life in our lives rather than another damn pill.

i flip 'til i flop.

boots, jackets, hats, oh my! living in Florida has taken a toll on my wardrobe, all i have are flip flops and tank tops! i guess i need to a bit of bloody shopping, eh?! ;) i'll let you know the outcome of the day... i'm off for a day of outlet fun. woot woot!