welcome to the theatre.

so here i go... bloggity blog, blog. blog.

yes, can you believe it?! i'm finally blogging! you know, after thinking and thinking of the "perfect" way of conveying my thoughts, of expressing myself... i decided to stop thinking... and, lucky for you, i started writing.

so... it's the morning after i got back from Dublin with Kyle. Dublin. oooo... it was great! a great trip. we arrived last Thursday night. we got in late, but went out anyway to track down a delicious midnight snack anyway... aka, a Guinness. :)

and yep, the rumor was right! the Guinness just tastes better in Ireland. and honestly, i'm not exactly sure what it is... it's the same rich, full tasting glass of yummy goodness as it is in the states, but there's no... aftertaste? maybe? i think that's what it is. there isn't that tiny metal zing left on your tongue after you take a drink... :) mmm, it's the good stuff.

so friday rolls around and we head out into the wickedly windy city to track down the place that made our snack... the Guinness Storehouse. we went in the fabulously remodeled rendition of the real distillery now moved to the city of Cork (we didn't know this, grrr.... :( we wanted to see the real thing). but, it was a nice place... very much a tourist attraction. honestly, the only real highlight of the tour was the "testing lab." ;) (yah, i know... who woulda thought?!!) once you get to the top floor of the "distillery" is a bar (the Gravity bar) solely for those who completed the tour... to enjoy a glass of Guinness Draught (draft?!) and view the Dublin skyline.

as much as i did enjoy the experience, the "tour" wasn't really a tour, it was us wandering around the building. and after finally making it through... the view of Dublin wasn't all that grand... as the city is pretty figgin' industrial (i guess this isn't really Guinness' fault though, hm? haha..). so there weren't really any glamourous buildings to oogle at... just a few billowing smoke stacks piercing into the dreary skyline.

anyways... by saturday night we had covered the grounds of St. Patrick's catherdral, the Dublin castle, Trinity College, the Temple Bar district [with great depth and precision ;) pub crawl style], and the Jameson Distrillery. mmm, whiskey... perhaps my favorite part of the trip (so far). it was a better tour, a cheaper tour, and a move involved tour... and we got really delicious Irish coffees before leaving, so i was happy, happy. woot!

after enjoying two beautiful days in Dublin, with "abnormally good weather" as the cab driver told us... sunday we were able to experience the real country.

hmm.... :|

windy and rainy, cold and gusty... yick. but we snatched up our umbrellas (or brollies as the English like to call them) and jackets (i really need to consider buying a wet weatherproof coat) and headed out to find Paddy's Palace... the place of our departure for our day trip into the Irish countryside.

the weather was rough, and i'm not much used to the cold weather thang, but the trip was fun nonetheless...

we traveled by bus with a pretty eccentric, very Irish tour guide through beautiful Kildare to historic Kilkenny... along the way we stopped to visit the monastic city of St. Kevin at Glendalough. probably my favorie part of the trip (yup, even betta' then the whiskey fun). The city held such spirituality, such significance... the rain almost seemed fitting.

(and also Kyle fell on his ass, sliding right down a mudding hill... so it was amusing too!)

after we roamed around a bit, we climbed back on the bus and headed through the rolling hills, rugged mountains and glacial valleys of the county of Wicklow... aka, the Garden of Ireland. traveling on and into Kilkenny, we hopped out to experience the once medieval capital of Ireland. Kilkenny boasts of Ireland's finest Norman castle... (oo la la!). we walked around, took loads of photos, enjoyed a Kilkenny brew, then headed back to the bus for a ride back into Dublin.

overall, a great vacation away from Leicester. so now... back to reality. well... at least i think it's reality...

i just bought my ticket home. yep, back to the states i go, i go! :) but i can't decide whether i'm happy about it, or sad.

i'm leaving this amazing experience behind, but i'm sure just to move on to the next. it's just the process of it all.... a lot of changes are about to happen in my life. i have no idea what to expect.

i have exactly one month until i leave.

confuzzling situations lead to confuzzling blogs.... (warning, words of rambled nature!)

sometimes i feel like a character in a Greek play. i put on a mask and an act to please the audience.

with few words even spoken, i'm just going through the motions.

as if i ask myself each morning, hmmm... which emotion shall i wear today?

but then again... i'm not sure that is just it either. actually, i changed my mind... i know it's not.

i mean, is it my apprehension, my ambiguity, or rather, others' thoughts and opinions that influence it? often i catch myself only questioning my decisions after others have a say in the matter.

why should i change my mind? have i become that much of a conformist?!

i mean, i know i'm a people pleaser, but this is ridiculous.

besides.... is what the audience says it wants, what it actually wants? trust is earned, right? so what happens when you don't know if you can trust your audience?

should you risk the risk?

maybe it's just easier to run the other direction and shut that part of your life.... off.