a wasted life.

i went to Sanibel last weekend with my best friend, Kelly.



i enjoyed the relaxation of the west coast beaches.
the soft sand, warm sun.... blah blah blah,

it was great!


we had gone out to visit her family, and i absolutely love having a house full of family and friends... so i was happy to attend.



haha, yessss okay... it is a 'lil chaotic!



but it's like nothing else in the world. sooo, whateva. ;)






anyways,


on Sunday, we drove home.
i was exhausted after a long weekend sun bathing and beach biking....



......."back to work."

yik.





i never would have expected to open the door to my house and find my grandmother, with this look in her eyes.



[it's always very apparant when she has something weighing heavily on her mind.]

usually she's just this wonderfully wise, amazing woman, carrying this strong stature.... and child-like grin.


[yes, it's just the normalcy. it's comforting and i like that.]






come to find out,


my cousin's wife had killed herself.






yes.
exactly.



what?
what is what??

what happened?


how do i, wait...
how should i reacte to that?!?!!!


shock?
wonder?
sadness?


everything fluttered over me as i've met this girl.

she was only 21 and so sweet.... so refreshing.


so innocent and so young.




why?!?!?!!!




just a few nights ago now... around midnight,
she took her life from this world.







and all i can think was how selfish she was........



she has a son!
a 4 year old son.


and who does NOT understand!









you know, i always imagined a life so simple...

...an education, a career, a happy marriage.




and hopefully a life a 'lil extra ordinary.....






why would someone do this?!