changes
"Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better." -King Whitney Jr.
Hmm.
Today I will make it a point to drive forth my confidence.
;)
Haha…
Yah yah, something like that.
But seriously… it isn't good or bad. It's just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.
I need to finally realize that.
Nothing should become comfortable.
Until it’s… right.
[and often things you think are right, often... aren’t. :( ]
It’s funny how things pan out.
From one day to the next, so many things can take place...
…that effect SO much.
And as often as I hear I shouldn’t live in the past, it’s hard not to reminisce from time to time.
Then again, I wonder…
….what’s the point of reminscing again??!
[Remind me, ‘cause I forget.]
Absurdly trying to live your happy times all over again?
Or, obsessing over things you could have done differently?
Silly, isn’t it?
And even though I realize this... I still catch myself doing it.
Lately in fact.
Argh! Why?!
Perhaps due to the changes I’m now facing?
I mean, admitting the problem is really the first step to any resolution, isn’t it?
And I admit…
...I fear change.
I love comfort.
I love relationships.
And…
I cherish them and how they affect my life.
But life, often, doesn’t always work out like that. :(
And you realize…
“The more things change, the more they remain... insane.” - Michael Fry and T. Lewis
hahaha…
…fitting isn’t it?
a crazy girl and her crazy life.
I do tend to dance impromptu, laugh out loud, and sing loudly when I shouldn’t…
O crap, I think... I need Prozac.
;)
"Life is a journey, and not a destination."
1 comment:
"Change is the only constant in life"
I forget who said that, but the point remains. It's the only thing you can bet on. Besides death and taxes...
And confidence is a beautfiul thing: a virtue worth striving for, worth sacrificing for. It's something I've struggled to keep intact. It comes and goes for me - it changes. And right now, because I also fear change, it's not my strongest trait.
Personally, changes, especially significant ones, wrack my mind and body. I become consumed in an emotional whirlwind that strips me of my strength and leaves me bare and vulnerable. I compensate for that by seeking comfort and assurance in those I care about - friends, family, and significant others.
Considering the way my life has been this past year, I've exclusively resorted to the latter of the three ... it's a sort of mixed blessing to say the least - for obvious reasons - but after all is said and done I'm happy to have met the people that I did.
I've learned so much and become surprisingly more aware of what and who I am. Of who and what I want.
"I've never been so alone, and I've never been so alive..."
Reminiscing ... thoughts of the past can be comforting and assuring. They provide insight into yourself and help to understand who you are. That's ok.
However, to dwell and brood on the past - to doubt and obsess over the way things could have been, or the way things were. That's not ok.
I'm guilty of that. Of becoming lost in a myriad of impossible possibilities and questioning my decisions. Paralyzing myself with thought. I'm working on that.
But, the moral is, reminisce for the right reasons. After all, "He (or she ;) ) who does not understand History is bound to repeat it."
Also, wasn't that other quote supposed to be "The more things change the more they remain the same"? Never heard the insane rendition ... that's interesting.
Crazy ... aren't we all, just a little? But isn't that relative? Crazy compared to what? Put me next to the right person and I'd be crazy, too. Hell, people have told me I've considered crazy things recently myself. Haven't you? =)
Yea, you're an interesting one alrite - giggling and laughing and dancing just because. But why not! Life is funny.
And I love that about you! Don't question that, don't put yourself under the microscope and ask 'why?'. Just know that it's such a part of your beauty and ... allure. Please don't change that.
I love comfort, too.
I love relationships, too.
The comfort and happiness a relationship gives is what I really live for. I hate having to leave anything behind that I can see leading to that. But I have. And am.
I've been there enough times to tell you that it does get easier. And enough times to believe that these things happen for a reason. Though there be circumstances and situations outside of our control that may drag our physical lives away from people we love, it cannot change what is meant to happen. The power of our emotions, of human will and desire, always prevail - in time.
These unfair events, they hurt. But we get stronger. I've heard people say that a broken heart becomes weaker - and I don't believe that. Like a broken bone, it becomes stronger - but in other ways. It becomes wiser and more discerning, it becomes more aware of what it really needs - not just wants.
It will break less because it won't foolishly give itself away like it used to. And when you again feel that gravity, that profound connection to someone that you can't resist, you can be a little more sure that it's for real. You can trust you heart more.
For the record, I trust my heart. I trust in the path it has recently led me down. True, my heart is now full of sadness, but that will pass. What I'v really gained from this is something so much more, something so real and everlasting: an awareness that the kind of beauty my heart is seeking might just in fact exist. And though now may not be the time I get to find out, I know it's out there - and now I have hope.
Thank you, Joyce.
Post a Comment